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Friday, April 5, 2019
Why 75% of people find you disgusting
I learned long ago when I was first starting my sales career why 75% of the population did not like me and that was because I was being myself completely unaware there are 3 other categories of people who found how I walked , talked completely “repulsive” as my old sales coach used to say. See I was not apart of their tribe, I was an outsider I didn't talk like them, I didnt think like them, my mannerisms where not like them and being an outsider I must be “dangerous”
See this goes back to our primitive programming where survival was necessary, outsiders typically spelled trouble, they may come into town and kill and plunder everything in it . It served us very well for a long time and allowed our species to grow and expand and survive . However we are still facing this type of primitive programming today and without you knowing it you are automatically labeling people outsiders and hence “dangerous” .
Instead seek to understand that we are no longer in this type of survival world , furthermore seek to understand that there are in fact 4 different personality styles which Ill describe below and each one has its own district set of characteristics.
When you understand the four different personality styles life gets a lot more interesting and a lot more fun, resistance to other people and resistance people have against you dissipates. See when you are aware of the personality styles and identify it within someone you can “Get into their tribe” and people start to say this “Dylan is just like me” they relax and begin to open up . But when you are not aware of it and just go into a random “tribe” and start acting as yourself there is a lot of resistance and often times you’ll get “slaughtered”
In sales when you become aware of this you can close 75% of the people who do not like you by “becoming” like them where before you were only closing 25% of the people who were just like you and connected with you.
If you want better relationships with say your boss , co workers, family, friends, better sales, to raise capital more effortlessly, convince a motivated seller to accept your offer , the sky 's the limit seek to figure out what personality style they are and then mirror and match it so that this person accepts you into their “tribe” you can exponentially sky rocket your results .
Before I get into the personality styles here are some more thoughts
Any easy way to “get into someones tribe” on the phone is to mirror and match their rate of speech, voice inflections and tonality. For example if the person talks fast you talk fast, if the person talks slow you talk slow, if they have an accent you have a accent if they say “man all investors are sharks “ you say “ man I know all investors are sharks” use the words they use, You get the point. Let me give you a further example. If you are on the phone with someone and say the seller is a slow talker and you are a fast talker, most sellers will say man why is this guy talking so fast he must be trying to swindle me! You are not apart of their tribe to them fast talkers are scary! These things are happening subconsciously without most people knowing.
If you are in person with someone you can get into their tribe by mirror and matching their body posture, body language. If you are sitting across from someone and they cross their legs, wait 15-30 seconds then you cross your legs. If they put their hands up on the table you wait 15-30 seconds and put your hands on the table.
These are easy things to help quickly get into someones tribe
What are the 4 personality styles
Drivers: Who tend to be quick decision makers and low on emotions. For example if I were presenting an offer to a driver i wouldn't bog them down with facts, figures and data it will make them throw up. I would say say “mr or mrs seller I know you already know so let me cut right to the point” . If you present to a driver emotions, or data overload they will quickly check out. Get right to the point and be blunt. Drivers do not want to waste time.
Analytical: This is my favorite category as I am a high analytical. Analyticals are low emotions but slow decision makers. When presenting an offer to a analytical you are not going to close them on the spot and do not push them to do so. They have to collect all the data for themselves and make a decision themselves . Give them the time and space they need to collect the data. You may present to them all the sales comps, your reasoning behind your offer , all the facts etc and say I'll follow up with you in a day or two once you review to see if you think it makes sense.
Expressives: Are the ones I find repulsive JK!!! Expressives are the people who love to hear themselves talk, you usually cannot get a word in and always have to be right. You can tell someone is typically expressive as they generally have all the best clothes, and accessories on , never shut up and you cant tell them anything. So with expressives you let them talk, you may say something like “Joe I don't have to tell you , your a smart guy and you already know” they love that, expressives are really into themselves, play into that. The are very high on emotions but also quick decision makers but typically do not make logical decisions they make them emotionally so sell to them in a way they feel they are right and play to their emotions
Amiables: Are typically the “Sweet old lady “ type of personally or the mother type . They are nurturing, caring and very “feeling” you can typically spot a amiable as they generally are very caring about others and always want to help others. These are the type of people that when you walk into a house ask “ can I get you a cup of tea or something to eat” They are generally soft spoken and speak slower as well. The calmest most steady of the group. Amiables are high on emotions and slow decisions makers. If you push them at all they will get scared and often feel vulnerable. With Ambiales you have to move very slow and nurture them so they feel safe and secure. This requires a lot of relationship building and trust.
If you are interested in learning more about mastering the personality styles consider getting involved in the ultimate real estate investing course and weekly coaching where we dive deep into mastering this skill set and selling to the 4 styles so that you leave a jedi master.